


Insouciance - Side Stories and Deleted Scenes

by Kizuna_Tallis



Series: A Carefree Worry [2]
Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Andy's family is the worst, Deleted Scenes, Drinking to Cope, Everyone Has Issues, Feels, Gen, Light Angst, Sibling Love, Side Story, Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-05-23 13:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14934860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kizuna_Tallis/pseuds/Kizuna_Tallis
Summary: A collection of side stories and deleted scenes from Insouciance.





	1. Scene 1: Not A Great Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of everyone in his family, his sister Gretchen was the only one to ever understand Andy the best.

About an hour had passed since Walt had apologized to him. It wasn’t like Andy really needed it, but it was nice to hear it from his brother nonetheless, especially since Andy used to blame Walt for much of his childhood misery. Sure, it wasn’t fair to blame him for being born, but it didn’t help Andy’s self-esteem one iota growing up to see his parents always treat Walt like the golden child. Walt had finally passed out in his bed after a few bottles of wine, leaving the eldest Bernard son out alone on the patio, still drinking the night away.

“Funny isn’t it?” a feminine voice quipped behind him.

Andy jumped slightly, startled at the sudden intrusion. He turned around and quickly relaxed, seeing it was just Gretchen. She held a large bottle of vodka in one hand, a bottle of orange juice in the other, and most likely had a pack of Marlboros in her coat pocket.

“Sorry that I startled you. Mind if I join you in drowning our sorrows away?” she asked.

“Nope, don’t mind at all,” Andy replied, glad to have company from the only member of his family he actually liked. “We can be miserable together, just like old times.”

“Atta bro,” Gretchen said back with a smile. She took a seat next to him, grabbed a glass nearby and poured herself a strong drink, which she proceeded to chug down rapidly. Andy still sometimes couldn’t believe the sheer amount of alcohol she could knock back for her small size. Much like him, she had dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, a thin nose and a pointed chin, features they both inherited from their mother.

“What did you mean by ‘funny isn’t it’?” Andy asked.

Gretchen replied, “Well, you gotta admit it’s kinda funny that the two of us, the kids that were passed over, have ultimately become just marginally better than the little golden boy who freaked out and now drowns himself in alcohol all day everyday.”

“Aren’t we all kind of alcoholics or at least have to be?” Andy asked her with a chuckle. He wished he could say he was joking, but…

“Well, it is the only legal substance we’ve got that can dull the pain of our miserable and shallow lives. Otherwise, I’d be smoking Mary Jane out till kingdom come.”

That drew a laugh from Andy, who had to admit she was pretty on the money there. “Well, at least we both actually have things to look forward to. Me with my new job, you with your engagement…”

Gretchen smiled at that, nodding in agreement as she pulled out a cigarette and lit up. For a while, the two siblings sat in silence, simply enjoying the moment. It was really the only enjoyment they could have as adults at their childhood home, next to their parents.

“Oh, and by the way,” Gretchen suddenly said, “I’m sorry that I agreed with Mom on having a big birthday party for you. Really didn’t expect it to become a total shit-show like that.”

Andy waved his hand flippantly. “It’s fine, Gretch. It’s not like I can go any lower. Plus, you did make it up to me by handling most of the heavy work.”

“I suppose that makes us even.”

Out of everyone in his family, Gretchen was the only one who ever really understood him. They were the outcasts, forced to depend on each other because Mom and Dad were so fixated on Walt. Andy for never fitting their parents’ expectations and Gretchen for being an unplanned accident that they weren’t really sure what to do with.

But while Andy spent/wasted a large chunk of his life trying to gain their acknowledgment and approval, Gretchen had long learned it was a lost cause. In a way, it kind of made her the black sheep of the Bernards - she rejected their WASP life, eschewed going to the nice Ivy League school in favor of moving to the other side of the country to study at a college in California and make a life for herself in Los Angeles, mingling with the stars and getting engaged to a movie producer of all people as opposed to one of the other boys from the “old money” families they met during holidays in the Hamptons. She was the one that got out and, despite having a little bit of a drinking problem, Gretchen actually had her head together way better than either of her brothers did.

“Wish I could’ve learned earlier what you realized long ago,” Andy remarked after a couple minutes of silence as he continued drinking.

“What? That trying to please Mom and Dad is impossible?”

“Yeah.”

Gretchen shrugged and sadly said, “Well, we all react to stuff differently. But hey, better late than never at least, right?”

“I guess so,” Andy replied.

Gretchen made herself another drink, and as she sipped on it, she asked, “So… to change the subject to something a little less heavy… how are things in Ithaca? Cornell treating you well so far?”

Andy smiled and answered, “Great so far. Got a nice new apartment and I don’t have to deal with annoying sales calls or all that other bullshit anymore. Just have to evaluate and approve and that’s it. And how about you? How’s Jordan doing?”

“We’re doing great,” Gretchen replied with a smile. “He’s scheduled to be working on some of the new Marvel movies, so he’s going to be pretty busy, but we make it work.”

“That’s good.”

“And what about you? Anyone… special out there? How’re the ladies of Ithaca treating you?”

Andy shrugged and replied, “Eh, it’s okay. They’re all fine. Had a couple dates, but nothing serious. A couple of hook-ups…”

“Wait,” Gretchen cut in, her expression incredulous. “You are having one-night stands?”

Andy shrugged. “Look, Gretch, I’m not really focusing on that right now. I’ve just been feeling burned out on it all and I don’t need that stuff to be happy. Besides, I'm probably a doom magnet anyway.”

“You still have unresolved feelings for her.”

That wasn’t a question.

Andy’s features hardened. “Does it even matter anymore?” he asked angrily, looking off to the side as he took another long drink of rum, needing its numbing powers now more than ever. “I’ve left her be, cut her out completely, and that’s the end of it.”

“Hey, no judgment, big bro!” Gretchen quickly replied, throwing her hands up defensively. “She’s the one that got away, I understand that totally.”

“More like I pushed her away,” he grumbled bitterly.

Gretchen continued, “Well, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Dad fucked it all up for us. Like, everything. Besides, everyone has one, the one that got away. Hell, I have one of those. Remember Livio, my boyfriend from Italy?”

“That guy you wanted to elope with?” Andy asked, a small snicker coming out of him. “Yeah, I remember. Not to give them too much credit, but Mom and Dad were right that getting with him would be a massive mistake. Dude was, what, twenty years older than you, and sang on Eurovision!”

Gretchen was wistful, however, as she took another drink and said, “I really did love Livio. He… he was the first guy to really understand me. It could’ve worked. But hey, just say the word, and I’ll beat up that little girlfriend stealing shithead and that British she-demon bitch with a baseball bat.”

Andy laughed at that before he shrugged and said, “Well, no use in harping on it now though. We’re all moving on with our lives. It’s just a bumpier road for some of us than others.”

“I guess so,” Gretchen agreed. She then reached into her pocket and pulled out a single cigarette. “Here, take one. I know you have your whole thing about not wanting to damage those singing pipes of yours, but I can tell you need it.”

“You read my mind,” Andy admitted begrudgingly, taking the cigarette and lighting up. The taste of tobacco filling his mouth and throat, Andy let the burn linger for a few seconds before exhaling a thick cloud of smoke. 

“You’ll get there, I know you will. We’ve already survived this much without turning into psychos or druggies. We just have to make sure that if a new generation of Bernards come into this world that we’re not going to fuck them up too.”

“Not a great bet there,” Andy murmured. “Maybe the world would be better off without us fucked up Bernards. Let this family line die and be forgotten by history.”

Gretchen laughed at that. “We don’t have to be that extreme and nihilistic. We can redeem ourselves. I know you, Andy - you’re tougher than you give yourself credit for. It’ll get better, I promise,” she reassured him.

“Thanks, Gretch,” he replied, finishing off the cigarette and putting it out in the ashtray. It actually felt kind of good to have this one cigarette. It was like a once-in-a-while treat for himself, when things just got too heavy and letting loose with something that was so blatantly bad for him surprisingly calmed his nerves.

Another hour had passed by. Once they were done drinking and comfortably numbed, Andy and Gretchen both finally tucked out for the night. As he tried to get comfortable in his old bed, Andy reflected on what Gretchen said. That, for all their fuck ups and issues, maybe, just maybe, they weren't all entirely hopeless.

And, try as he might, he thought about her statement.

That he still had unresolved feelings for Erin.

Okay, admittedly, maybe he did. But it wasn’t entirely unjustified. The way their relationship ended wasn’t on the best terms, and he didn’t take it well either.

He then thought back to their goodbye. A small, vindictive little part of him hoped that he hurt her in some small way by not facing her when he said his goodbye. But then he stamped it out. Even that didn't bring him anything good. It was still thinking about her and he was done letting her be in his head all the time. There was no use in staying fixated on someone who moved on with her life. He had to do the same.

Eventually, the alcohol and fatigue mixed together to knock him out for a good few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First scene! It takes place after the post-birthday flashback in the prologue of the main story.
> 
> Since Andy's sister never made an appearance in the series and never even got named, I had to create her from the bottom up. I got some inspiration for her character from another Andy-centered fic on FF.N, namely her refusal to gain their horrible parents' approval and close bond with Andy. She was loads of fun to write, and hopefully, she will play a decent role late in the main story too.
> 
> Keep your eyes peeled for the next updates! ;)


	2. Scene 2: Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Pete tries to help out his family, they let him know how they really feel about his personal life and the choices he made.

Pete sighed heavily for what he was sure was the thousandth time as he drove through the new neighborhood his parents were moving into, the synthetic feminine voice of his GPS being the only sound in his car. He couldn’t listen to any music right now; he was too stressed to be able to pay his full attention to it.

 

Helping his parents move into a new house was already a tough enough task on its own, but the circumstances behind the move only added on to the stress.

 

Erin wasn’t the only one dealing with the wrath of the Internet. Being “the other guy” made him just as a much of a target of their ire. He had to shut off his Twitter and Facebook accounts, and Alice trash-talked him to TMZ, of all places, purely to get back at him for, in her words, ‘making her waste over two years of her life on him’. His family got caught in the crossfire themselves. The entire reason his parents were moving was because of all the hate mail they themselves were getting from people calling them horrible parents who raised a horrible son.

 

The last straw came when someone threw a brick through the living room window that had a paper bag full of dog feces tied on it and was lit on fire.

 

So now, he had to help his parents move. It wasn’t so much that he owed them his help, but they _demanded_ he come.

 

He just _knew_ a big family discussion was waiting for him.

 

And indeed, his gut instinct was right on the money. He saw his sister’s and brother’s respective cars parked near the new house alongside the moving van. Pete parked his car and shut it off, taking several deep breaths and pinching the bridge of his nose to steel himself before he got out.

 

His legs felt heavy as he walked up to the front door. With a similarly heavy hand, he rang the doorbell and waited.

 

The door swung open, revealing a curvy and petite woman his age with the same sandy brown hair as himself. She also shared his thin nose, cheeks and forehead. She was wearing jeans and a black shirt, much more practical than her usual wardrobe.

 

His twin sister, born five minutes before him, a fact she loved rubbing in his face for the fun of it.

 

Olivia.

 

“Well, well, if it isn't the man of the hour,” she deadpanned.

 

Pete rolled his eyes at her. “Is everyone talking about me?”

 

“Nah, we were just waiting till you showed up.” Her face then became darkly serious. “Seriously, no one’s happy today. And don't push Mom too much. She just started a new medication for her heart condition.”

 

That was news to Pete. “Is… she okay?”

 

“Uh… no. Did you not hear me?” Olivia replied as they walked into the house. Boxes were strewn everywhere, as were pieces of furniture yet to be reassembled. And in the middle of the living room was the rest of the family sorting through the stuff.

 

Father Sam Miller, mother Carol, and oldest brother Luke.

 

They all turned around to see him and Olivia, and if they weren’t in the best spirits already, the mood immediately hit rock bottom as soon as they saw him.

 

Carol nonetheless tried to be pleasant. “Peter,” she said with a smile and a hug, “good to see you’re here to help.”

 

“Still wouldn’t come close,” Luke whispered venomously as he sorted out a stack of plates.

 

“Luke!” Carol reprimanded, but Pete stepped in.

 

“No, really, Luke, tell me how you really feel! I mean, Liv’s already told me that you’ve all been waiting to unload!” Pete challenged.

 

Sam stepped in, scowling. “Is that it, Peter? You want us to ‘unload’?” he asked, putting that last word in air quotes.

 

Pete quickly regretted that outburst, but Olivia was just as eager.

 

“Yeah, sure, how about we all take a seat, hm?” Olivia asked everyone, shooting a quick glare at her brother. “Come on, let’s clear the air!” she continued in a perky and chirpy voice that was dissonant against the general atmosphere of the room, the suppressed anger that was just bubbling under the surface, ready to explode.

 

Everyone took a seat at the dining table. Pete felt his whole body wanting to give out, dreading this so badly…

 

He almost felt like a child about to be yelled at for doing something stupid.

 

“You really want to know what I think about this, Peter?” Sam asked, voice straining.

 

Pete couldn’t bring himself to speak. His father wasn’t exactly a physically imposing man, but he could still be commanding when he wanted to be.

 

“I am  _incredibly_ disappointed with you,” the elder Miller said. “I really thought your mother and I had raised you better than that, to get into a relationship with a girl who was already spoken for.”

 

That was the worst thing for anyone to hear coming from their parents, that they were disappointed in them. Pete, however, couldn’t let his dad walk all over him like this.

 

“She approached me first, Dad! She was having problems in that relationship and-”

 

“You could’ve said no,” Sam interrupted sharply, standing up out of his seat and jabbing his finger against the table as he continued to talk. “You could’ve stayed out of something that was none of your business. You could’ve waited a little longer. You could’ve done literally _any_ number of things to handle that situation better! But because you had to butt into someone else’s relationship business and let it all be caught on camera for the whole fucking world to see, **_our family_** is paying the price!”

 

Pete winced. As Sam was taking deep breaths to steady himself while Carol had her hands on his shoulders as she tried to calm him down, Luke and Olivia just simply looked at Pete with the same sort of anger and disappointment. He felt like he was shrinking and shriveling under the scrutiny. He wasn’t really sure if he felt anything worse than this…

 

After a long and uncomfortable minute of silence, Pete finally found his voice. “This has been really hard for me. I don’t know what to do right now, and it’s been really stressful.”

 

“Of course it’s been,” Olivia replied with a scowl. “But you’re not the only one swimming in shit right now, Pete.  For the last couple months, I’d gotten a bunch of texts from random men showing me their dicks and random women asking me if I'm sort of boyfriend stealer like my girlfriend stealing brother! For no reason other than that my personal info was leaked out on the internet because someone thought it’d be great to drag us down with you because you thought with your dick instead of your brain!”

 

“And in the meantime,” Luke added in, “ _I’m_ having to negotiate and fight with every other bank in this country because some jackass stole my social security number and opened a hundred credit cards in _my name_ , which has left me with more fraud charges than the wolf of Wall Street!”

 

“Oh, and bee-tee-dubs,” Olivia carried on, “that new heart medication that Mom’s on that I told you about earlier? She only started it when she and Dad started getting at least ten hate letters in the mail every day.”

 

Sam grimly nodded, further stating, “And I didn’t tell you this when it happened because I figured you were already dealing with a lot on your plate, but your mother had to go to the hospital for three days to calm down when that brick got thrown into the window. Tell me, Peter, did you ever once stop and _think_ about what you were doing, that there wouldn’t be _some sort of consequence_?!”

 

“Alright, everyone, that’s enough!” Carol cried out, hitting her palms against the table. “I think he understands the point!”

 

Everyone else immediately quieted down, but they were still angry, all staring at Pete with blistering scorn. Meanwhile, Carol slowly fell back down into her chair, burying her face into her hands as soft, broken sobs came up out of her throat and tears slowly streamed down her face while she took several deep breaths to try calming herself down. Olivia sighed and got up out of her chair to hug their mother, tears streaming down her own face.

 

“Hope you’re proud of yourself, Pete,” Luke viciously spat as he got up out of his seat and stormed out of the dining room.

 

Sam followed. He said nothing, but he really didn't need to anyway. He already made his own feelings known.

 

Pete’s whole body ached and he felt like there was a heavy block of lead stuck in the middle of his throat. He couldn’t bring himself to move, to say anything. The only sounds permeating the house were the soft sobs coming from his mother and Olivia’s whispered attempts at consoling her.

 

This wasn’t the first time his mother had cried over him, but it was the first time the sight made Pete feel even lower than a piece of dog shit covered in maggots.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the night had been spent in awkward silence. Dinner was a simple pepperoni pizza, cheesy bread, and buffalo wings from the nearby Dominos. Since the cable and internet connections hadn’t been set up yet, no one could watch TV or get out their laptops. All anyone could do was try to go through this time without letting tempers flare up again.

 

And it was a task easier said than done. Thus, Sam and Carol spent the rest of the night in their new bedroom while Luke left immediately after dinner to go back to his motel.

 

Pete took a seat on one of the patio chairs in the backyard. He quietly sipped on his beer, looking up at the twilight sky. He then heard the sliding glass door opening behind him. He turned around to see Olivia walking out.

 

“Hey. Need company?” Olivia asked. Her tone was a bit gentler now, much of her previous anger having softened away over time.

 

“I guess I could use some,” Pete admitted softly, eyes still downcast.

 

Olivia took a seat next to him. She took out a cigarette and reached over to him. “Need one? I can tell you want it.”

 

“I got my own pack,” he replied, taking it out of his jacket pocket and pulling a single stick. They both lit their respective cigarettes up, quietly smoking.

 

“I’m sorry for snapping at you back there,” Olivia said to him after a moment of silence. “Everyone was really ganging up on you and you were already feeling terrible as it was.”

 

Pete shook his head, retorting, “No, you shouldn’t apologize, Liv. You guys are right - it is my fault all this shit’s happening to us.”

 

“It’s  _her_ fault too, you know,” Olivia added. “Erin, I mean.”

 

Pete flinched, not liking the way Olivia just spat his girlfriend’s name out with disgust. Reflexively, he had to defend her. “Come on, Olivia, she was lonely and her relationship was falling apart-”

 

Olivia cut him off, hotly replying, “She went behind her boyfriend’s back and abandoned him while he was going through a rough time in his life and then demanded that he just ‘get over it’ when she couldn’t do the same for him when the situation was reversed! I mean, okay, sure, he was being a real douche-ass-canoe, but that still doesn’t give her a free pass for what she did! No one with half a brain or morals could deny that those were some super fucking shitty actions on her part! If anything, you deserve better than a cheater!”

 

“What the fuck, Liv?!” Pete asked her angrily. “I accepted your company, I didn’t ask for you to shame me even more over this!”

 

“I’m not shaming you, Pete,” Olivia said. “I’m simply here to open your eyes because you’ve been blinded.”

 

“Blinded?” Pete asked back angrily.

 

“Yes, you've been blinded by her!”

 

“Oh yeah, that's rich, coming from the girl who blew four guys at our five-year high school reunion!” Pete fired back.

 

“Hey, just because I gotta have it doesn't mean I don't have standards!” Olivia retorted. “I do not sleep with men who are already dating or married to someone else even if his relationship or marriage is going down the toilet! I am a proud and liberated woman, not a fucking homewrecker! Have the goddamn decency to admit you're not happy and break up _before_ you start boning someone new at very least!”

 

“ _She_ initiated it all-”

 

“And you let her in rather than do the smart and classy thing by telling her you would wait for her to end things properly before getting all kissy-kissy goo-goo with her face!”

 

Olivia had put out her cigarette, her nostrils flared, teeth bared and eyes wide.

 

“You have to break up with her,” Olivia said firmly, stopping Pete from getting another word in. “This relationship has caused nothing but suffering and trouble.”

 

Pete looked at her like she just grew a second head. “I can't do that! What good would breaking up do?”

 

“Think of it like this, Pete,” Olivia retorted. “Do you ever wonder if it just came down to luck? That she just latched onto you because you happened to be there when she needed _someone_? And just _how_ sustainable this really? Take it from me, relationships that start from cheating are doomed! I mean, how can you trust that she won't go behind _your_ back the minute you ever slip up and do something to make her feel bad or unappreciated or neglected?”

 

“Erin would never do that to me!” Pete argued back. “We’re-”

 

“Yeah, just like I bet _Andy_ never thought she'd ever go behind _his_ back!” Olivia interrupted, almost screeching in rage. She then took a deep breath to calm herself down and continued. “This shit being flung at us… it didn't come from nowhere. And look, I get it - you really do like her and she is cute, and aside from the whole cheating and turning her back on her boyfriend when he was going through a rough patch in his life thing, she seems like a nice girl. But, as your loving sis, I know this relationship will only end in tears no matter which way it goes. You need to kill this before it kills you and the rest of us! Rip that band-aid off!”

 

His twin sister's words rang deep into something in Pete, and for a moment, he was silent, contemplating. As much as he tried to, he couldn't find any strong arguments against her points. He really did try, too.

 

And then he began to think back to how things had been for the last couple of months. Ever since Darryl made them watch that clip, Erin always seemed to recoil slightly at his touch. She never really returned his kisses like she used to, and he could see the guilt and shame etched in her eyes whenever she looked at him, clear as crystal. Erin wasn’t exactly a subtle person.

 

“Please, Pete,” Olivia implored, her voice bringing him out of his reflections. Tears were welling up in her eyes. “I know it hurts. But you're letting pride get in the way right now. You can't keep this up anymore. None of us can. You have to do this, and I think all of us personally would prefer it happens sooner rather than later.”

 

* * *

 

Perhaps it was fate that just nine days after his family meeting, _that_ video was posted up.

 

It was no secret Pete didn't like Andy, a feeling that was mutual. Beyond the feud over Erin, Pete found Andy obnoxious, rude, self-absorbed and utterly intolerably immature. That perception wasn't helped much by Andy's actions in the time Pete himself began working at Dunder Mifflin, especially that petty act of spite that involved using his and Erin’s exes against them. And the Plop nickname especially would be the bane of his existence till the end of days.

 

But then that video, Andy’s “leave Erin alone” call-out, came out. While it didn't completely change his opinion of the other man, his former romantic rival, it did help it turn around just slightly for the better.

 

For one thing, it _was_ an admirable gesture on Andy's part, to come to the defense of the relationship that caused him a great deal of grief despite gaining absolutely nothing for it other than more mockery from the internet trolls. It was made even more impressive considering much of the harassment was coming from Andy's self-proclaimed fans. And considering Andy had been infamous for having an incredibly fragile ego, that was saying something.

 

It also made Pete realize further his own mistakes… and the fact that his family was right.

 

So he broke up with Erin. He ripped off that band-aid as Olivia told him to.

 

He wished he didn't have to. But he had to.

 

He knew Erin was heartbroken right now. She was probably in her apartment crying her eyes out. He wished he could call her but he couldn't and most of all, he knew he shouldn't. He felt like an utter scumbag, a garbage human who should’ve been smarter, who should’ve thought with his brain instead of his heart/penis/whatever.

 

And he wasn’t going to let her know that his family played a part in this. The things they were already dealing with were bad enough; she didn’t need his family’s opinion on her conscience tormenting her.

 

He bought a whole bunch of cheap booze from the gas station store near his apartment. But before he could drown and numb away the pain, he dialed Olivia’s number. After a couple rings, she answered.

 

“Pete, hiya little brother by five minutes! How's it shaking?” Olivia greeted.

 

“I did exactly as you asked,” Pete replied dryly, pouring himself a shot of cheap vodka to drink right now. “I'm no longer in a relationship with Erin.”

 

Olivia squealed excitedly. “You did it?! Oh, thank you, Pete! I know it’s horrible when a relationship ends, but you did the right thing!”

 

Pete only grumbled as he angrily downed the vodka shot, the cheap liquor burning his mouth, throat and sinuses at once. “Well, it’s good to know someone’s happy.”

 

Olivia sighed and her tone became gentler as she said reassuringly, “Look, I know it's gonna suck total ass-farts right now, but eventually, it will be worth it in the end and you will pick up the pieces and find happiness again.” Her voice then became more brusque as she added, “And preferably with someone who doesn’t have the kind of baggage that Erin had.”

 

“Easy for you to say,” Pete spat. He was about to pour himself another shot but then decided to just drink straight from the bottle.

 

Olivia apparently decided to ignore that. “By the way, just curious - how _did_ you break up with her? Did you do the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing, or what?”

 

“I just told her I didn’t think we would work out. Nothing more or less,” Pete replied. “I didn’t, and I won’t ever let her know you guys wanted this either. She already has enough on her plate as it is.”

 

“Well, that’s good. Don’t need her to start getting mad at us, especially since she’s in no position to.”

 

“Whatever, I need to go,” Pete said curtly. “I’m just letting you know so you’re in the loop. Bye, Olivia.”

 

“Bye, Pete! And remember, it’ll get bett-”

  
[He hung up and set his phone aside.](https://youtu.be/pTA0DSfrGZ0) For the rest of the night, Pete drank and smoked himself out into a numb stupor. He didn’t drink to the point he vomited, but a part of him almost wished his liver would give out and he could die of alcohol poisoning so he wouldn’t have to feel like the dumbest, shittiest and most horrible person alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the lead up to the Pete/Erin break-up. I suppose his family does come off as a bit mean here, but between the stress of all they're caught up in and whatnot, I feel it would be natural that they might blame him and/or Erin for all that is happening to them. They are generally nice and loving, but they're all on edge and stressed out; perhaps a scene showing them calmer and more relaxed could come later in the future.
> 
> The song playing over the closing scene should be familiar to the Rick and Morty fans here.
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos! And be on the lookout for the next ones! (Kiss kiss)


	3. Scene 3: The Toll of the Human Tornado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Pete and Erin’s breakup, Nellie realizes her hopes for a fresh start in America didn't quite pan out like she had wanted and no matter where she goes, she leaves a human toll in her wake.

Nellie Bertram had no compunctions about who she was. 

 

The youngest daughter of a big and especially religious family, she was, whether by her nature or by nurture, not one to play by the rules. She had to be! The world was a big and cruel place, especially for women. You had to play dirty if you had any hope of getting ahead.

 

Well, okay, admittedly, she hadn’t exactly helped herself that well. She still had awful credit card debt, she still wasn’t married despite a few instances where she came close to at least a proposal, she still hadn’t been able to get approved by any adoption agencies and wasn’t getting any younger…

 

And that was without mentioning that her life in London had been left in shambles. Many of her friendships, if one could even call them that, had either fallen apart or they just drifted away from each other, never having been all that deep to begin with. The longest relationship she’d ever had similarly went down the drain when her boyfriend left her for a younger woman. And she wasn’t on the best terms with the rest of her family either - she had always been at odds with her parents, and her siblings, far more straight-laced than she, considered her an embarrassment.

 

So she did what any person (okay, maybe not  _ any _ ) would do and decided to start over fresh. She left England for America, took on a new job and made new friends… and enemies.

 

Okay, so maybe she should’ve expected some sort of consequence for just waltzing in and trying to take over the Scranton Dunder-Mifflin branch, but finders keepers losers weepers, right? And yeah, she wasn’t helping when Andy, the guy whose job she tried to steal, ended up saving the company when Robert California essentially ran it to the ground.

 

And she especially didn’t help her case with him when she essentially set up the killing blow to his relationship with Erin.

 

She could tell Andy’s goodbye was full of fake courtesy; he was clearly waiting to get away from here and was only saying goodbye so he wouldn’t look like a  _ total _ asshole. But if she had to be honest, she actually could empathize with that. After all, when you constantly burned your own bridges, what else was left to do but to move forward and try to at least end things on some mildly pleasant note?

 

And then, a couple months after he left, shit hit the fan.

 

Nellie expected she'd get a little harassment. After all, she liked playing the villain and embraced the controversy she created. And she turned the dick pics random men sent her into an extra source of income, which was nice. In fact, everyone got some negative attention to some degree, for whatever reason.

 

But poor Erin (and to a lesser extent, Pete) got the worst of it. The harassment was ruthless and relentless. Even getting off the internet for a while did nothing to lessen the sheer vitriol sent her way.

 

Nellie nevertheless was determined to be a source of support for Erin in this, especially since she knew that it was partially her fault the younger woman was the target of scrutiny. She stayed by Erin’s side whenever she needed to go out, assisted her with ways to make her safer including helping Erin move into her new apartment and changing her phone number. And it helped slightly, plus the harassment  _ was  _ leveling off, little by little.

 

But even with all those steps, Nellie couldn’t shake off the feeling that things would only get worse before they would improve.

 

* * *

 

Like every human that worked a job and breathed air, Nellie hated Mondays.

 

She was absolutely not a morning person and she still couldn’t understand Americans’ preference for coffee over tea (maybe some sort of little cultural holdover from the Revolutionary War?). And she had to be honest, American offices could be so droll.

 

As she entered the Dunder-Mifflin office, she quickly noticed that Erin wasn’t in today and in fact, the general atmosphere seemed… more somber today. Pete was in today though, and she could see that he also looked down in the dumps, for lack of a better term. That couldn’t be good. She gently approached him.

 

“Peter, are you alright? Where is Erin today? Is she ill?” Nellie asked.

 

He shook his head. “No, she’s fine for the most part. She’s… just taking a few days off.”

 

“Why?” Nellie pressed. She could tell something wasn’t right and didn’t like what her gut was telling her.

 

Pete sadly sighed and said, “She needs to take some time off because… well… we broke up a few days ago and she needs time away from here… and me.”

 

For a second, Nellie’s mind went blank before she found her voice. “I'm sorry, I think I spaced out for a moment there, what did you say?”

 

Pete repeated, “Erin and I broke up and she needs time away from here.”

 

“But…  _ why _ ?” Nellie asked, jaw dropped in shock. “I mean, you two worked so well together, and you made each other happy, and-”

 

“Not anymore,” Pete interrupted.

 

“Is… is it because of all that Internet harassment?” Nellie questioned further. 

 

Pete nodded, “That did play a part, yeah.”

 

“Well, you shouldn’t let some random anonymous jerks get to you like this!” Nellie asserted.

 

“It’s not just us though,” Pete replied. “It’s also everyone else that’s gotten caught up in this. My family mainly.” His expression hardened as he continued, “They’ve been getting a bunch of shit thrown at them too. My parents had to move to a new house because they were getting a bunch of hate mail and then someone threw a brick into their window and my mom had to start a new heart medication because of the stress, and my brother got his identity stolen and my sister’s been getting harassed, all because of  _ me _ .”

 

Nellie’s heart dropped as she heard this. “Good God,” she breathed in astonishment. “I mean, what kinds of bastards would do that, to target and involve your family in this? That’s just low.”

 

He nodded in agreement and added, “Yeah, and because of that… my family didn’t like my relationship with Erin and they all blame everything that’s happened to them over these last few months on her.”

 

“Wait,” Nellie said, “did they play a part in this?”

 

Pete nodded again. “Yeah, they… they wanted me to break up with her.”

 

“You shouldn’t break up with her because your parents told you to!” Nellie reprimanded. “You realize you are an adult who can make his own choices, right?”

 

“And what good are those choices when they lead to nothing but pain, Nellie?” Pete asked her angrily. He immediately calmed down and elaborated, “It's not just them either. I did it for her sake too.”

 

“How is breaking up with her good for her?” Nellie asked in confusion.

 

“Well,” Pete slowly explained, “a few weeks ago, Darryl made Erin watch this clip from way before you and I started working here. He said it would ‘give her some perspective’. And well, basically… at the time that clip was filmed, Andy was dating this other woman named Jessica and Erin just wouldn’t accept it, to the point that she once told Andy she wished Jessica would die right in front of Jessica’s face. And when she watched herself there, Erin’s been… well, I’d say she feels guilty, but even that doesn’t feel adequate enough.”

 

Nellie was taken aback.  _ That  _ was news to her. She had no real desire to watch the documentary beyond the episodes she’d appeared in, so to hear this…

 

“Dear God,” she breathed, her shoulders falling as she began realizing there was a whole new dimension to the situation.

 

“Ever since she saw it, Erin just… she hasn’t really been the same. Especially around me,” Pete continued sadly. “She would always look at me like she was  _ ashamed  _ or something. She… could barely even let me touch her sometimes.”

 

Nellie’s heart sank as she listened to this. And, little by little, an emotion she often shut herself off from because it was an inconvenience to her began to set itself in.

 

Guilt.

 

Nellie shook her head. “I should probably go see how she’s doing after work.”

 

He nodded and replied, “That’s probably not a bad idea.” He then added, almost pleaded, “And please, Nellie, don’t tell her about my family. It’s… it’s already hard enough, and… I don’t want her to have to feel even worse about all this.”

 

She could see the desperation in his face, the pain of having to do this for his own sake, for his family’s sake, and especially for Erin’s sake.

 

“Don’t worry,” she told him with utter sincerity. “I won’t. Absolutely promise.”

 

He smiled and nodded. “Thank you,” he said to her, voice filled with gratitude.

 

* * *

 

 

When the workday was over, Nellie immediately left to go to Erin’s apartment. The drive was quick and simple, and, just to make it a little nicer, she took a quick stop at a store to get Erin a little bag of goodies to cheer her up. Candy, some herbal tea that was supposed to be good for elevating one's mood, and a lavender scented candle.

 

She put a couple knocks on the door. A moment later, Erin answered.

 

“Nellie? This is… unexpected,” Erin greeted with surprise.

 

Erin definitely was not in the best shape, Nellie could tell immediately. She looked tired, her hair limp and disheveled, and eyes red-rimmed. She was wearing a pair of old sweatpants that looked crusted with food crumbs and a faded shirt that had a small hole in it.

 

Nellie sadly replied, “Well, I had heard about what happened with you and Peter and I figured I should come here and see how you were doing. Can I come in?”

 

“Of course you can,” the younger woman replied with a small smile, moving over to let the Brit in through the door.

 

Nellie set her purse and the bag of goodies on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch. Erin moved to the kitchen.

 

“You want anything? Water or anything to drink?” Erin offered. 

 

“No, I'm quite fine,” Nellie gently declined. She opened up the bag and took out the box of tea. “I actually got you some things. Just figured it would be nice to have some little things to help you while you take time off. This tea here is supposed to be good for improving your mood. I mean, the claims could be rubbish, but it would at least taste good with a drop of honey, right?”

 

Erin smiled slightly and took a seat next to Nellie, looking over her purchases. “These are really nice actually, Nellie. I like the candle especially. Thank you.”

 

Nellie wasn’t sure why, but she honestly had to wonder… why? Why wasn’t Erin lashing out? Or at least being something else other than… whatever  _ this  _ was? This mixture of acceptance and resignation rather than anger and bitterness.

 

“Erin,” Nellie said in as measured a tone as she could, “how exactly have you been since… well, you know…?”

 

Erin sighed and replied, “Well… at first, I wasn’t so good, but I’m doing a bit better now.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Nellie said back with a nod. “Although if I may, and I don’t want to sound insensitive here, you seem to be recovering from this fast.”

 

“It’s fine. I don’t know,” Erin shrugged. “I guess with all the stuff that happened… all the bullying and other stuff… I just kinda realized it’s probably for the best that Pete and I are broken up. I liked him but… I didn’t handle things well and I… didn’t stop to think about the possible consequences.”

 

Hearing the way Erin was speaking really hurt. There were tears behind the younger woman’s eyes, Nellie could easily see that. But to hear her so accepting of this, and how she didn’t appear to be too bothered by Pete’s decision… 

 

“This is all my fault,” Nellie sighed sadly, rubbing her temples as she tried to soothe the headache coming in. “I pushed you into this situation.”

 

Erin shook her head. “No, Nellie, you shouldn't blame yourself for any of this. It's on me. I made those choices.”

 

Even though Nellie could tell Erin was being genuine in her reassurances, it still didn't quite stem away the feeling of guilt eating away at her.

 

_ ‘Congratulations on a job well done, Eleanor,’  _ a nasty little voice in the back of her mind sarcastically spat.  _ ‘You have really outdone yourself this time! You’ve managed to ruin not one, but  _ **_seven_ ** _ people’s lives! That’s a whole new record there!’ _

 

Nellie tried to ignore that voice but it only got louder, more vicious.

 

What was worse was that this voice wasn’t just some random part of her conscience, or whatever was left of it. No, it was the remnant of a voice of an ex-boyfriend from long ago. A Danish man named Lars who came to London to study and carried out a relationship with her, only for it to crash and burn when he found out she had another guy on the side… who was an older married man whose own wife left him when she found out about the affair. Lars was devastated naturally, even as Nellie tried to convince him it meant nothing.

 

Lars’ response to that was something that still haunted her on occasion to this day.

 

_ “You are like a tornado! You know what those are, right? The weather phenomenon that only occurs in America, the giant funnel cloud of strong winds that rips through an area and destroys everything in its path? That’s what you are! You are a human tornado that destroys everything she touches! You are the most selfish person I’ve ever met! You don’t give a shit about whose hearts you break or whose lives you ruin as long as you get what  _ **_you_ ** _ want!” _

 

Well, in this case, he was half-right.

 

She tried to do something somewhat good, tried to help Erin find happiness. Okay, sure it basically meant breaking up another relationship to set up another, but it made Erin happier than she’d seen her in a while, and Nellie liked Erin. She was like the little sister she never had. And sure, admittedly, there was an element of revenge she wanted to take against Andy for his petty acts of passive-aggression regarding that letter of recommendation, but she meant well, right?!

 

She could hear Lars’ voice in her head again, laughing bitterly at her.  _ ‘Human tornado strikes again,’  _ it said.  _ ‘Even when you try to be good, you never will accomplish anything good. Because you are a life ruiner. You ruin people’s lives even without trying.’ _

 

She had hoped for a fresh start after having burned so many bridges back in England; that was why she moved to America. And America wasn’t too bad, despite all the horror stories about the country some of her fellow Brits would often come up with.

 

But it was all too clear at this point that her hopes didn’t work out.

 

In fact, at this point, she was pretty certain she was making more off her side job sending dick pics to that gay porn website for extra money than she was with… whatever the hell it was she was doing here at Dunder-Mifflin. And what future was there in paper selling anyway? Sure, paper probably wouldn’t become  _ completely  _ obsolete, but with the way things were becoming more digitized…

 

_ ‘No matter where you go, you leave destruction and pain in your wake,’  _ Inner Voice Lars spat.  _ ‘Face it, Eleanor, you ruined your own life and you just ruined the lives of several good people here. You have nothing.’ _

 

The Inner Voice was right, as much as she hated to admit it.

 

There was only one thing left to do.

 

She had to go.

 

Go before she ruined even more lives here in this (frankly boring, drab, and horrible) town.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Nellie quietly left Scranton and Dunder-Mifflin three weeks after Pete and Erin’s break up.

 

She turned in her two weeks notice to Dwight, who was surprised by the suddenness of it, but he accepted it, especially when he listened to her simple reason why.

 

“This… it’s just not for me,” she told him. “I can’t be here any longer.”

 

He nodded, somberly understanding what she meant, what she couldn’t say.

 

Dwight gave her a generous severance package that included enough money to help her move her things to wherever she wanted to resettle.

 

She quickly decided on moving to Poland. Sure, it wasn’t  _ as  _ nice as say, Sweden or even France, but she figured it was a low-key enough place for her to be able to get by without too much trouble.

 

As she sat on the seat of her airplane, Nellie looked out the window, sighing sadly. She had to admit, as droll and dull as Scranton was, she was going to miss the place… the people…

 

But, as Lars and others before and after him had made clear, she would always leave a human toll wherever she went. And she had left an especially high toll here.

 

That was what happened with a human tornado.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good riddance, Nellie! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
> 
> This was a bit of a challenge to write, to get into the mindset of a person who is generally horribly selfish but does have some shreds of decency (or at least tries to have them). Never understood the point of her character, but I figured I'd have fun putting her through a "my God, what have I done?" realization.


End file.
